Okay, so in Science class yesterday we were talking about sleep cycles and melatonin and my science teacher said, “if you’re trying to sleep, avoid one colour. Blue. Your melatonin levels decrease when looking at the colour blue because it’s the colour of the sky.” GUYS, I KNOW WHY NONE OF US SLEEP. TUMBLR IS BLUE.
THE JIG IS UP, YOU SNEAKY BASTARDS. WE’RE ONTO YOU.
The essence of being alone lately has been quite appealing to me. I desperately needed to learn how to put myself first. I needed to swallow my own words when I say that you need to love yourself. It’s a constant battle between satisfying the people you care for in order to somehow lessen their burdens/struggles in life and what you might want for yourself.. Without coming off as selfish in any way. It’s a damn shame that there has to be more cons than there is pro. I’m legit lost for words, for the first time in a long time, I can breathe. I can focus on me and really improve myself. It’s silly, I know, but being alone has brought comfort to me and acceptance. Maybe it’s cause I’m older and wiser, or the many traumatic events that occurred in my life, but I have absolutely no desire to want to befriend anyone, I have no desire to want to be accepted by others, I have no desire to have to seek company from others. I’ve always say we have our own demons and battles to fight but I don’t think you truly understand those demons or battles until your faced with it on your own, and I mean really on your own. The crazy part of me thinks that it’s slightly rewarding.. Don’t get me wrong, everyone needs a backbone, a hand, support but it’s the feeling of empowerment that brings you to the next level. I probably sound foolish, but I learned that you can’t feel guilty for choosing the path you wanna walk.. Cs ultimately when push comes to shove you’re going to have to walk it alone.
A writer for the new york times interviewed a series of people who had survived jumping off the golden gate bridge. Every person she interviewed admitted that about two thirds of the way down, they realized that every seemingly meaningless problem that caused them to jump was fixable.